Taking a sip of champagne from the flute glass held between her fingers, Sam looked over at the crowd of guests in the huge, fancy hallway of the arena’s entrance. Influential businessmen and women were mingling and chatting with one another while reporters and photographers roamed the hall to catch a quick shot or a brief quote.
Hazel eyes lingered on the guests until Sam finally saw someone she recognised. There, amongst the fashionably dressed CEOs and their plus ones, was Kara Danvers, looking radiant as ever. Kara’s blonde hair was pulled back into an elegant bun, enhancing the view of her pretty features. She was wearing a light brown, fitted dress. She looked smart and attractive and the smile Sam had missed was brightly directed at everyone she was being introduced to.
Sam’s attention was drawn to the person beside Kara, the one doing the introducing - her dear friend, and her boss, Lena. Lena’s hair was down, as opposed to Sam’s, which was in a neat ponytail with some of her dark locks loose to frame her face. Lena was wearing a maroon pantsuit that almost matched Sam’s black one, they were both stylish and expensive. Waiting for the crowd to disperse enough so that Sam could approach her friends, the smile that was about to form froze in place, becoming a frown.
Lena’s hand was on the small of Kara’s back while she introduced her to everyone, as if she was proudly showing her off. Kara’s smile was modest but she didn’t seem to mind. Sam felt an unwelcome feeling in her chest, a tightness that was both horribly familiar and alien to her. Taking a breath to stay calm, Sam fought off the intrusive assumptions barging into her brain. When Kara leaned in to murmur something to Lena that only she could hear, and Lena openly laughed, Sam felt the ugly feeling worsen.
Then she understood where she recognised it from, and it terrified her.
Sam turned away to shield herself from seeing more of her friends’ couple-like behaviour. Her grip of her glass was so tight that it burst into pieces, golden flecks of liquid flying everywhere.
“Ma’am, are you alright?” one of the waiters serving drinks asked on his way past, concerned from the sudden noise of shattered glass that had startled some nearby guests. Sam glanced at the people who were staring at her, humiliated by their uncomfortable looks and how they avoided eye-contact, shuffling away to distance themselves.
“I’m fine.” Sam shook her hand to dispel the remaining droplets, “sorry about the glass.”
“It’s no trouble,” the waiter got to work picking up the shards. Sam moved to help him, but he politely refused, leaving her to stand awkwardly while he cleaned up the mess she’d made. “Can I get you anything else?”
“No, thanks,” Sam forced out a tense smile, looking over her shoulder. Kara and Lena were nowhere to be seen. Lena’s probably parading her around to some other business contacts, Sam thought. She was surprised by her own reaction, how furious she was with them: feeling betrayed by Lena and forgotten by Kara. Her heart was crushed under the weight of what she’d seen, but the worst part was how it made Sam feel like a stranger in her own body.
Moving away from the main hall, Sam ascended the wide stairwell to try to find a balcony for some air. Without a drink in her hands to steady them, they trembled with each step she took. Shoving them into her pantsuit pockets, Sam focused on her breathing, something she relied on to calm her down when stricken with anxiety. It helped enough that Sam’s boiling anger quietened into a simmering rage.
Leaning against the balcony’s edge once she made it outside, Sam closed her eyes, wishing she hadn’t bothered coming all this way for her friends’ sake. It seemed like they were doing just fine without her.
“Sam?” A sweet, startled voice broke Sam out of her spiralling thoughts. Kara was standing in the open archway that led to the balcony, her eyes wide with surprise as she stared at the woman she’d been missing for almost a year now. “Sam!”
In a matter of seconds Kara was rushing through the archway and strong arms drew Sam into a squeezing hug. Sam hugged her back just as tightly, and when they pulled away their arms remained linked. “What are you doing here?” Kara searched Sam’s eyes as if she was looking for something she’d lost in them.
“Lena didn’t tell you?” Sam murmured, hating how lacklustre her response sounded.
Kara shook her head. “I had no idea. I’m writing an article about some of the guests tonight. Lena invited me so I could meet them.”
Sam felt the jealousy from earlier growling deep within; she tried to suppress it, but it was powerful. “I’m here on L-Corp business.”
“I’ve heard you’re doing an incredible job in Metropolis,” Kara complimented. There was a pause while she admired the new way Sam was wearing her hair. She was so painfully attractive, Kara tried to recall how she ever managed to not be constantly distracted by her. “You look really good, Sam.”
“So do you,” Sam softly replied. “You’re even more beautiful than I remembered.”
Kara smiled, pleased but embarrassed, feeling herself blush. “I-I should probably get back to…”
Whatever excuse she was going to make was forgotten about when Kara felt Sam pull her closer, their bodies flush against one another. Kara took in Sam’s serious expression, and for a moment, the darkness that flashed in her eyes was almost unrecognisable. Almost . Kara had seen it before, but they weren’t Sam’s eyes back then.
“Lena’s had you all night, she can wait for one more minute.” Sam’s arm wrapped firmly around Kara’s waist, serving to remind her that Sam was one of the only people on Earth who possessed the physical strength to hold her like this.
“Sam,” Kara whispered, but she didn’t pull away, pressing into the heat of Sam’s body, as if she’d longed to be back there. “I missed you so much. I wanted to call but…after the way we left things, I was afraid you wouldn’t answer.”
The confession should have made Sam happy, had her share the sentiment, but all Sam felt was envy of the times with Kara she’d missed out on, times Lena had spent with her instead. Fueled by the anger and desire burning in her veins, Sam’s hand rose to grasp Kara’s face, angling her jaw upwards, cherishing the surprised gasp that slipped from Kara’s lips.
Then Sam kissed her, hard and passionate.
At first Kara seemed to tense from shock, but unearthed desires she had kept hidden, since the night Sam left, returned in full force. Kara melted into their intense kiss, a needy sigh muffled between their locked lips. When Sam felt Kara kissing her back with equal fervour, it sent a thrill through her, a mixture of pride and relief, to know there was still something between them that hadn’t been forsaken. Sam realised what she’d done and how wrong it was to kiss Kara if she really was seeing someone else, seeing her friend, her boss . Sam suddenly broke apart, her eyes brimming with conflict, gazing into Kara’s awestruck expression.
“I have to go,” Sam let go of Kara, heading for the archway back into the main hall without looking back. Kara brought a hand to her lips, to touch where Sam’s had been, turning to watch her walk away, left with only her re-surfacing feelings for company.
When Sam made it to the stairs, she was confused by the way Kara had kissed her back. She’d been expecting a shove, maybe even a slap, but definitely to hear the truth that Kara had moved on. Lena finally spotted Sam returning to the crowd of guests.
“There you are, Sam, I’m so glad you could make it,” Lena smiled brightly, faltering when Sam didn’t respond. “Hey, are you okay?”
“No, I’m not.” When Sam turned to face her, Lena was taken aback by the anger she could see in her usually gentle eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me? God, Lena, I know I moved away and a lot of things have changed, but I thought you and I were still friends. Guess I was wrong.”
It felt like a knife was sinking into her chest, the distraught look on Sam’s face, the fury and pain in her voice. Lena fought to keep her own steady, despite her bewilderment. “Sam, we are friends. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Wow, so you won’t even admit it.” Sam scoffed in disbelief, her nostrils flaring.
Lena recognised the betrayal written all over her expression. She’d worn it herself many times. “Look, I can see that you’re clearly upset but you’re not making any sense.”
“Of course I’m upset! You know how I feel about Kara, you’ve always known, and now I find out you’ve been seeing her behind my back?” Sam angrily shook her head only to falter when she saw the utterly perplexed look on Lena’s face, as if she thought Sam was insane.
“Kara and I are best friends, I love her like a sister but that’s it! I’ve always encouraged you to pick up the phone and call her, so you two can work things out, but you never take my advice. That’s why I didn’t tell her you were coming tonight, Sam, so you could surprise her. I’d never do that to you and honestly I’m hurt that you think I’m capable of something like that.”
At Lena’s revelation, Sam’s shoulders sagged, the heavy weight of frustration lifting into emotional exhaustion, shame and guilt. She avoided her friend’s questioning gaze.
“I want to believe you, Lena, but I know what I saw.”
Offended by Sam’s lack of trust, Lena couldn’t help but let it show. Sam hadn’t quite been herself since she’d moved with Ruby to Metropolis. Every time Lena checked in with her, Sam put up a wall around her feelings, acting like she was fine. Sam wasn’t ready to face what happened last year, and cut off any and all attempts Lena made to get her to talk about it. Lena spotted someone rushing down the stairs behind Sam, politely yet hurriedly trying to get through the crowd and reach them.
Once Kara was close enough, Lena addressed her.
“Maybe you can talk some sense into Sam, Kara, before anyone else ends up getting hurt.” Giving Sam a cold stare of disappointment, Lena walked away to clear her head and try not to take the accusation too personally. She knew Sam was having a hard time, and she also knew she would forgive her, but right now she needed space.
“Come on, let’s go back upstairs,” Kara urged, taking Sam by the hand to tug her across the packed hall. After a silent ascent, they reached the balcony. Sam slipped her hand free from Kara’s grip, staring out at the view of National City. Kara gently placed her hand against Sam’s arm, but she barely reacted. “Please tell me what’s wrong.”
Sam exhaled, rubbing the side of her head, trying not to burst into tears from everything she was processing. She felt terrible for jumping to conclusions, but the overwhelming emotions inside her were so strong she hadn’t been able to fight them back like she usually did.
“I saw you with Lena earlier and it looked like you were…I don’t know,” Sam sighed. “I thought you were involved, and it made me angry. I don’t recognise the person I turn into when I feel like that.” Sam wiped her eyes to combat her tears. She desperately wanted to be free of Reign, and in some ways she was, but in a lot more, she wasn’t. “It’s been hard, trying to move on.”
What Sam chose not to say, Kara understood. The memories that haunted her dreams, of the Kryptonian wearing Sam’s face that nearly beat her to death, they hadn’t healed for Kara yet either. “I can’t even begin to imagine what you must be going through.”
Sam felt her tension slowly start to dissipate. Kara’s patience and understanding always had a way of doing that. Easing her doubts, quelling her fears, igniting hope that maybe one day she could just be Sam . “Yeah but it’s a terrible excuse for acting like a jealous idiot.”
“You don’t have to be jealous.” Kara reassured her. She was secretly flattered that Sam still liked her enough to react so strongly. “I’m not with Lena. Actually, I’m not with anyone.” Kara quietly confessed. “I’ve been having a hard time moving on too.”
Sam couldn’t believe what a fool she’d been.
“Kara, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed anything without talking to both of you first, and I shouldn’t have kissed you.”
Kara smiled. “Well, I didn’t mind that part, even if you did it because you were jealous, which, by the way, was kind of sexy.”
Sam let out a snort of amusem*nt. “Now you’re just teasing me.”
“Okay, maybe I am, but that kiss was…something else.” Messing with her glasses, Kara bit her lip to stop herself smiling too much.
“I’d offer you another but I really have to find Lena and apologise,” Sam turned to leave, but before she could, she felt Kara grab her hand.
“Sam, wait,” Kara held on tight, afraid to let Sam go. “I think we need to talk some more first.”
Nodding in agreement, Sam squeezed her hand. “Alright, I’ll stay.”
And after a long overdue talk, Sam did exactly that.
